Thoughts, Balks, And Predictions For Cyber Sunday

Okay folks, it’s been awhile since Candle’s been in the blog saddle (about two weeks) so let’s get this unique edition of Thoughts, Balks and Predictions under way. This week I’m covering Cyber Sunday predictions, and what I think is going to happen, what I hate about what I think is going to happen, and my overall thought on the PPV as a whole. I really think the voting’s obsolete (sorry Strata and Matt, I do believe it’s gimmick, and I do believe you guys wasted money) and that booking ultimately decides. I believe it now more than ever since WWE’s trying to weasel money out of fans to vote. I think this pay-to-text will ultimately be the death of this PPV gimmick, but on with the night’s card!
- PRE-SHOW US Title Match: Shelton Benjamin © vs. ???The WWE Universe Picks the Opponent: MVP, R-Truth or Festus

Thoughts: Anyone would work well with Benjamin. You could stick a piece of bubble gum wrapped in cello tape in the ring with Benjamin and he’d put the damn thing over as looking like a legitimate competitor

Balks: Pre-show? Wow. This could be the match of the night, and it’s not even going to make air. Bummer. I’m also bummed that I can only see one man getting voted into this, and he wont win it…

Predictions: MVP gets voted in. I don’t know if he’s still got heat for smart mouthing the drug tester or what, but they seem bent on putting a losing streak behind him. To clear up any confusion though, nobody has squashed Porter and he is NOT a jobber. He always loses after a fairly back and forth bout, and then falls victim to someone dodging his finisher (like Triple H) or simply losing clean. I do NOT think this means they’re going for an Austin-esc face turn like everyone seems to think, because he’s still got heel heat with the crowd, and ultimately the crowd turned Austin, but they don’t’ even have that sort of control anymore over the product (and Cyber Sunday being revealed as rigged would be my proof)

- Diva's Halloween Costume ContestThe WWE Universe Picks the Winner

Thoughts: …I can’t legally put them on paper for a massive viewing audience without having parental block installed onto this blog spot, and since we’re still working out the bugs, I doubt that’s possible.

Balks: If I want to watch softcore porn, I’ll buy another type of PPV.

Predictions: Some face chick will win. I’m not even going to pretend that I care or know whose in this.

- The Undertaker vs. The Big Show The WWE Universe Picks the Match: Last Man Standing, I Quit, or Knockout Match
Thoughts: I told everyone that these men could deliver together, and I was right, and I think they have a chance to put on an epic big man battle in any of these matches.

Balks: None. If it’s last man standing, their slow pacing would work, if it’s I Quit, they could let this run as long as they wished. If it’s Knockout, once again, they can work the slow, meticulous pace needed.

Predictions: Show wins. I’ll go as far as to say it’s a clean victory. I like this investment that WWE’s putting behind everyone’s favorite Barbarian, Shownan.

- Kane vs. Rey MysterioThe WWE Universe Picks the Match: Falls Count Anywhere, No Holds Barred or 2 of 3 Falls Match

Thoughts: I really haven’t got much positive to say about this feud. I haven’t really liked it’s direction from the get-go. I think that these men can deliver in two of these three matches, and they’re likely to be the two highest voted matches, and that’s No Hold’s Barred and Falls Count Anywhere.

Balks: FCA and NHB are the same thing, so it’s not really much of a choice, and you KNOW that no fan is going to put themselves through a 2 out of 3 falls match. Even the “mark” fans will gravitate towards NHB and FCA.

Prediction: I haven’t really paid that much attention to this feud, but I think Rey has the advantage so far, so I think Kane will win this. There’s no way they’ll end this feud on a gimmicky PPV like Cyber Sunday. Then again, the booking for this feud has been lackluster as it is, so who knows?

- Pick a Tag Team MatchThe WWE Universe Picks the Match - World Tag Team Title Match: Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase © vs. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston or Cryme Tyme vs. The Miz and John Morrison or Jamie Noble and Mickie James vs. William Regal and Layla

Thoughts: This seems like a fun bout, regardless to who gets picked. These are some great teams that could definitely highlight the tag division once again. Even though the mixed tag has little to nothing to do with the tag division as a whole, I'm still happy to see that every single tag bout listed has a fairly storied rivalry going for it.

Balks: Only one of the tag teams is really a mainstay tag team. I know that M&M 2.0 have been together for a long time, but you know it wont last, and you know as soon as Orton gets back in the ring, Punk will be gunning for him, leaving Kofi high and dry in the midcard division again. Even Priceless could be construed as a throw together tag team. If WWE’s looking to rebuild their tag division, and I highly doubt they are, they need to have more established and like-minded tag teams brought in, like the Naturals, whom I KNOW are in development.

Prediction: Whether or not the fans vote it, or WWE books it, CM Punk and Kofi are over big time, and I think Orton’s making his return tonight. It’s a bold prediction (well, it’s not a dull one) but I think it’ll happen. The bout will be Trouble in Punkadice vs Priceless, and Priceless will win.

- IC Title Match: Santino Marella © vs. ???The WWE Universe Picks the Opponent: Goldust, Roddy Piper or The Honky Tonk Man

Thoughts: The build for this has been awesome, and it’s given Santino a shot to show that he’s gold on the stick. Regardless to whose voted into this match, it’s going to be a fun one to watch.

Balks: I know that this isn’t going to be a clean bout, or a good one on a pure wrestling level, which I’m actually fine with. Regardless to who gets voted in, even if it’s Dustin Rhodes, all of these guys aren’t the same performers they were in their prime. I expect a cameo from everyone on the polls.

Prediction: The Honkey Donkey Man will be voted in, and he will ultimately take on Santino, lose via interference, and Marella will continue to try and break his record. Actually, this storyline may end after this PPV, which is good, because I really don’t want to get sick of Santino, and in order for that to work, he’s got to keep his act as fresh as that newly grown unibrow.

- ECW Title Match: Matt Hardy © vs. ???The WWE Universe Picks the Opponent: Mark Henry, Evan Bourne or Finlay

Thoughts: Regardless to who gets voted in, this will be a fine match. Henry and Matt compliment one another well, and Finlay and Matt could put on a pier six brawl the likes of which we’ve never seen. Bourne appeals to the Team Xtreme nostalgia, and I think Matt and his new fly moonsault could keep up with the speedy Sydal.

Balks: None, except that this match is predictable. Matt’s not losing the strap to any of these guys. While I think Henry was a great champion for ECW, if they wanted to book him as their big name, they would have ran with the ball when they had it. Losing to Hardy does nothing for Henry’s strong man credibility. While WWE is trying to appeal to the kiddies these days, Fit’s not going to win this. I think the WWE realizes that they can make only so much of a mockery out of ECW before people quit tuning in, and while I don’t think Finlay is unworthy, a champ with a Leprechaun just doesn’t scream “respect” for the ECW banner or the crowd’s intelligence. Bourne is hot, but I think WWE’s learning by the mistakes made with Punk. They don’t know how to elevate a guy like Punk or Bourne unless they’re like Rey Mysterio and come into the promotion with a pre-existing win column over bigger guys. I think they’ll stall on pulling the trigger on a Bourne title reign so early.
Prediction: The fans want Bourne. You can’t convince me otherwise. If anyone other than Evan gets voted into this, this shish is rigged. Ultimately Matt will retain though
- WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. ???The WWE Universe Picks the Opponent: Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov or Jeff Hardy AND Vladimir Kozlov

Thoughts: This bout has had some great build leading into it. Kozlov has been booked perfectly as a smart and ruthless blue chipper wanting to make a name for himself at the expense of anyone who steps in his way. Jeff’s been stuck in a similar storyline as MVP where he’s always so close to grabbing that brass ring, so his continued contention makes sense. Triple H looks dominant as always, and still has that tweener twinge to his character that makes him unlikable enough to root for Jeff, and likable enough to boo Kozlov, which is good. Both competitors are hungry, and that adds to the tension.

Balks: I have a fear that this build could lead to disappointment. We haven’t exactly seen Kozlov in the ring against Triple H, so who knows what the give-take chemistry there is. They’re both constantly booked as very dominant, and while Triple H has been more giving with his selling lately, it’s still hard to tell how those two locking up will turn out. There’s also a matter of not letting Trips get too much control over Kozlov. His win needs to be lightening fast to solidify Vlad as a credible main event threat. If we get Jeff vs. Trips, well, we’ve seen tha already, and while it’s good, it’s headlined two or three PPV’s in the last 6 months. I just don’t know if people really want to see it again. A triple threat could be a disaster. Once again, a matter of chemistry comes into play. Kozlov’s still a bit new to Triple H and Jeff’s song and dance in the ring, and I fear that a triple threat with these men could be a bit awkward and overwhelming for Vlad.

Prediction: We’ll probably see the Triple Threat, and it’s a shame, because it’s hard to pull off a watch-able one that doesn’t look telegraphed. Either way the voting goes, Trips is retaining. Depending on whom he goes over, it could set this three way feud into a new direction. I don’t want to make any bold predictions, but Triple H and Vlad really haven’t physically interacted that much…perhaps there’s an alliance set to surface at Cyber Sunday?
- World Title Match: Chris Jericho © vs. BatistaThe WWE Universe Picks the Referee: Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels or Steve Austin

Thoughts: Anything with Jericho, Batista, and Michaels going against one another makes so much sense right now that it makes me giddy. I love how this all still stems from Flair’s retirement in a roundabout way. It’s rare that you see this sort of long-term continuity in a wrestling storyline these days, and it’s great to see it.

Balks: I have a feeling Shawn wont get voted in as ref. If he does, this junk is rigged folks. It would be a thing of beauty to see. The main focus of most of this match could surround Shawn’s reaction to each cover. Remember, he has a history with BOTH men, and even though he and Dave have seemingly come to terms with one another, it wouldn’t be unlikely for there to still be tension between the two. Perhaps Dave gets a 2 count where he thought he should have gotten a 3? Or maybe Shawn sets his bias sights on Jericho while tuning up the band, and stalls just in time to avoid hitting a naïve and groggy Batista just as Y2J ducks out of the way? There’s so much that could happen if Shawn, the vote that makes sense, gets voted in. Then again, Randy would be an interesting vote in as well. Once again, if WWE’s looking for continuity and conflict, look no further than Evolution, and Randy’s made it common knowledge that he’s going after whoever has the world gold. Wouldn’t the evening be interesting if Batista won, and then ate an RKO? Kind of a retaliation for Orton’s Evolution jumping that initially started when Dave himself electric chair dropped Orton to the canvas. Indeed, there’s history all over both of these choices, but we all know that if the voters really do matter that…

Prediction: Steve Austin will be the special guest referee. If this is the case, Jericho will retain and eat Stunner and drink it down with a Steveweiser. My biggest question is what could this mean if it does happen? I know it’s sort of hopeful to say…buuut…there have been rumors that Austin is getting back into good ring shape, and even if it was on a limited schedule, even though it wouldn’t be the same at all, it would be kind of interesting to have a little bit of Rattlesnake venom injected back into the WWE product. Again, this is another far-fetched hair brained theory (the check’s in the mail, Matthew) of mine that probably wont happen, but anything can happen in the WWE.

That’s all for this week. I hope someone reads this before the PPV, so I can know that I rule if any of this is right. I may have some indy news to report this week, considering there's controvercy within the NWA World Title ranks (yes, it still exists. No it's not really that relevant, but I'm an Adam Pearce mark, so you'll be forced to indulge me.) and news that a major booking asset within ROH has parted ways with the company. Hopefully I'll get to report my thoughts on both of these things before they're resolved, or become common knowledge.

But until next time, I'm out like a Candle