That's right folks...FINALLY...the Prophet HAS COME BACK...to blogging. And I know what you're thinkin', I know what's on your mind, I know what you're whispering amongst yourselves at home as you and your buddies read this while dutch ruddering to your girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep tenticle manga pornography. And for the record, the Candle agrees with Jason Mewes, it's totally not gay, but watching a guy boinkin' a sheep with an octopus is unnatural, good god man!But I know what you're prattling on about with your friend, I know the question on everyone's mind, you're asking yourselves what would draw the Prophet back to his menial, yet prolific blogging ways? What’s drawn this mediocre man with a message out of his literary seclusion? What groundbreaking wrestling event, what phenomena, what glitter of wrestling knowledge, originality, and wisdom has this third person speaking, egotistical nut job from North Carolina brought to a blog that only he reads? (because, let’s face it, he’s the only one that’s worthy. 4TH PERSON! BOOM BABY!)
Why…the unique topic of Christian (No Cage Needed) returning back to the WWE. Now isn’t this an untapped bonanza of original material!
Okay, okay, dropping the carney act. Yes, I Candle, like the rest of the unimaginative and speculative IWC, have fallen prey to this potential ship jumping…but only because the potential for it happening has become more and more apparent. Dixie Carter herself has stated that Cage’s contract has expired with the company, and that she’s disappointed in his decision to leave, which leads me to believe that Cage is going back to the motherland, and considering the current events of “Smackdown!” (Yes, I’ve Taken Up Watching Smackdown Again, For Anyone Whose Noticed My Protest Against the WWE Lately) it appears that we could have the second coming of the Peep’s Champion on our hands here, and it’s definitely got the wrestling world abuzz with opinions, predictions, and, surprisingly enough, the expectation of a letdown after so much build up.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not naïve enough to think that the WWE is beyond burying someone for leaving their ranks or making a big star for themselves in a competing company (Class, Turn To “WCW Invasion” In Your Wrestcycleopedia McMahonica For Reference.) but I think they’re also capable of seeing potential in people that a big promotion can tend to overlook due to bigger, more established names (Now Turn To The “Lionheart’ Chapter Before “WCW Invasion” For Further Reference. See Also: Eddie Guerrero. See Also: Sean O’Haire…Okay, Potentially Bad Example, Also Too Much Ellipsis Banter. I Mean Who Do I Think I Am? Dead Pool?).
Considering this potential reprimand, would midcard burial really be much of a step down from Cage’s spot within TNA prior to his departure? He was little more than a middle man punching bag for both upcoming factions, and if he had decided to stick with the company, plans of reestablishing him as a recluse from both locker rooms seemed to point to keeping him on the same track. Now tell me, is this really worse than going back to a lifestyle of playing sidekick to Edge? Especially considering Edge is now one of the biggest heel egos in the WWE universe? Let’s delve deeper. Let’s let the hypothetical play out for both companies and see where each scenario lands our ship jumping captain of the SS Charisma.Okay, he sticks around with TNA after the Mafia beats him down and banishes him from television. The plan was to make him a vengeful renegade going against the Mafia by himself, but somehow I think the Frontline would still have his back in sticky 5 on 1 situations, and considering the current state of both the Frontline and the Mafia (considering Nash is shelved, and the only opposition that poses a threat to the Mafia are AJ, Joe (Out Nursing Arm Injury/Newborn Baby…Ew…I Wonder If He COULD Nurse a Baby With Those Man Cans…O.O…GET OUT OF MY HEAD!), Brother Ray (Whom, Until Recently, Was Out Due To Mafia Beatdown/Viking Dumpster Funeral/Droese Burial) Devon, Petey, Rhino, The Guns (Whom Seem Heelishly Mutinous), Eric Young (Lost Somewhere In The Sewell Shuffle) and a hobbled hardcore legend, if Cage had stayed with TNA, I’m led to believe that he would’ve taken the reigns as locker room leader, instead of Brother Ray, Rhino, or Foley, because considering how perennial this mentor role has become, it leads me to believe that TNA is trying to find someone that fits as their leader in Cage’s absence. Cage fit because he’d earned the respect of guys like AJ and Joe, along with the TNA fans by making Christian Cage a byproduct of the product, and not just some washed out gimmick rehash. Cage reinvented himself in TNA, and that’s what sets him apart from the Mafia, Rhino, 3D, or even Foley, and that’s what would have made him ideal for Frontline Leader. Now let’s say that Cage leads them into battle. Where would his focus lie? Ideally, in a perfect world, his focus would have been fixated on the World Title, BUT before he left, it seemed as if a program between he and Book was building up over the Legends belt (Which Has Really Become a Non Sequitur Title In Cage’s Absence, Suspiciously Enough. But That Presumption of “I Bought A Title, Therefore I‘m A Legend“ Does Fit the Mafia Well) So that leaves us high and dry in the main event for the Frontline once again, and Cage chasing a title that means nothing without him being there chasing after it. So let’s say that the smoke settles on this feud. Guys like AJ, Joe, Shelley(?) and Chris Sabin have become the predominant faces and champions of the company, and the services of guys like Kevin Nash, Sting, and Booker T are no longer needed, because the homegrown have made a name for themselves and don’t need their iconic monikers next to theirs on a marquee to draw ticket sales (Which Is The Way The Business Should Progress.) This amounts to Christian possibly dethroning Booker, and finally getting his hands on the Legends title after multiple attempts. Now what? Okay, so guys like James Storm, Robert Roode, maybe later down the road Hernandez, Eric Young, Matt Morgan or Abyss begin to challenge this claim of Legendary status. They begin to wonder if Cage is any better than Booker for pinning such a title (Both Literally And Physically) on himself after months of pointing out Book’s hypocrisy. So, they challenge for the gold. These talented guys are elevated, which is great, but what about Christian? How does becoming a stepping stone help his career? How does putting someone over like Robert Roode impact his career any differently than it would if he were to go into the WWE and feud for, let’s say, the IC title against someone as promising as CM Punk? Or the US title against old TNA running mate R-Truth? My point is that it doesn’t, but at least if Christian leaves TNA, he has a shot at NOT being “that midcard guy” again. I’ll admit, his status as a TNA midcarder would be somewhat more prestigious and rewarding to the guys he’s feuding with in TNA, because the company’s midcard glass ceiling isn’t as thick as the WWE’s and someone would definitely benefit off of putting an X in Cage’s losing column in TNA, but there are other factors, like money (as shallow as it may seem to most) and perhaps even the potential of being more than just a stepping stone. WWE’s proven time and time again with guys like CM Punk, Chris Jericho, Miz and Morrison, The Hardy Boyz and Evan Bourne that a fan’s opinion of your performance can definitely put you in positions to prove yourself. Regardless to what most jaded internet fans believe, we definitely are the swing vote when it comes to booking. Even Christian’s career in the WWE could be considered proof of that. Look at his position on the card prior to leaving. He was in a triple threat with Jericho and Cena for the WWE title one week, and the next he’s shipped over to Smackdown to challenge Batista for the World Title in the Main Event. It’s true, he didn’t win either match, but the WWE DID recognize the appeal that the Instant Classic draws, and I for one think they were on the cusp of capitalizing on it before TNA gave him a place to prove that he can be the draw, the flag bearer, and the main eventer that WWE never fully pulled the trigger on.
Maybe now, with a hindsight of 20/20 on their side, the WWE wont drop the ball on a man who has the potential to be just as big, if not bigger than, his former counterpart Adam Copeland.
Anyway, that’s how I roll on the whole Christian Cage return. And if you didn’t know, now you know.
(I Know, It’s a Cheesy Ending…But It Was A Pretty Cheesy Blog)
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